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3 Things the People in Your Circle of Influence Need Most from You

Updated: Jul 27, 2022

In a moment of stillness and solitude, a powerful question appeared to my mind. It seemed like a safe question and a very good one at that, so I embraced it. It was a simple question that begged an answer, and it required a slightly deeper level of thoughtfulness than I was prepared for in the moment. But for whatever reason, I found it difficult to skate by this question without answering like I’ve done so many times in the past.

Here’s the question.

“What do people really need from you?”

Now, we could all list a plethora of answers, all of them good. But at the deepest level, what do they really need? From all the wisdom I have gleaned over the years from numerous sources, here are my three.

Keep Truth in front of them in word and deed.

Give them space to choose.

Love them through their choices, no matter what.

1. Keep TRUTH in front of them in word

and deed.

Truth is the actual fact or facts about a matter. We humans desire and seek after truth in the deepest recesses of our being, because we are hardwired that way. That’s why things like lies, betrayal and rejection often hurt so bad, and it’s also why major trust issues can be so debilitating in relationships. We are hardwired to receive and release truth, not lies. Hence, lies and trust don’t do well under the same roof, one will eventually overtake the other.

Experts, through neuroscience and brain study have revealed much to educate us on how the tragedies and traumas of life can wreak havoc on our ability to recognize and live what’s true and good. Therefore we must, to the best of our ability, diligently pursue the fact or facts of the matter. We must remain committed in our pursuit of Truth. Unfortunately, conversations about truth only go as far as our individual values and beliefs allow. Misalignment in values and beliefs can cause things to derail really fast, and that reality makes the next two points, RESPECT & LOVE, all the more crucial. It is also why most of us would serve ourselves wisely by reaching out to a professional Therapist, Counselor, Mentor or Life Coach, to help us find our way to what we need.

2. Give them space to choose, and

RESPECT them regardless.

Respect is defined as care and honor displayed toward something or someone.

We owe others, especially adults, the respect, care and honor of allowing them to make their own decisions and choices without imposing our opinions and experiences on them. We may at times know the better choice. But for them to know the same, they must make mistakes as we did, and they must feel the painful consequences of missteps as we did. There are no short cuts to this process. Personally, my level of disrespect to others over the years has been grossly unacceptable, injecting my thoughts and opinions where they were not welcome, needed or solicited. A sure sign that someone wants to hear what I think is when they ask me for my thought. Until then, I’m learning its best to zip it!

Respect is due every human being, regardless.

3. LOVE them through their choices, no

matter what.

The Beatles said it well.

All you need is love…

All you need is love…

All you need is love, Love


In all my years of life, I'm convinced that all any of us really desire and long for is to be loved, and have opportunity to help fulfill someone else’s need to be loved.

We all need that unconditional brand of love, the kind that keeps pursuing, especially when it’s not deserved or merited. It overlooks choices and missteps and it just keeps coming. It can be tough at times, and it may not always taste or feel good, but at the end of the day you know its LOVE, because there is nothing else quite like it.

Here are a few questions in closing.

How often do you ignore powerful questions that you ask yourself?

How frequent are you offering your opinion, perspective and experience before someone asks for it? Be honest.

Do you feel better when you harness your opinion or let it run free? Explain

I would love to hear your thoughts or maybe your top three!

Please take a moment to share.


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