Who would have thought that how we deal with our cell phones and how we deal with our relationships could be so shockingly similar? Some of life's most teachable moments can be born from a simple shift in perspective.
When it comes to dealing with our cell phones/relationships;
1. We typically don’t care to understand how they work until they don’t.
In the moment, the words NOT NOW seem as appropriate as they are convenient. They shut down the unwanted and block the undesirables, helping you move on to what you would rather be doing. Never mind the importance of these critical details, or the fact that a little pressure-free attention to the situation now might save you from significantly stressful situations down the road.
Two curious questions;
Is it your habit to read instructions thoroughly, or do you trust your common sense to figure it out because you don’t have time to read the instructions thoroughly?
Will you read or will you roll the dice?
Do you typically watch videos and read books and articles to learn how to deal with issues before they arise, or do you wait until after they arise?
In other words, are you by default Proactive or Reactive?
Here are a few beautiful benefits in choosing to take action NOW rather than LATER.
It gives you the ability to make decisions with minimal pressure or stress.
It usually increases your options and opportunities for success.
It allows you to enjoy the positive emotions that accompany being prepared.
2. When something goes awry, automatic blame goes to the cell phone instead of
ourselves.
If you haven’t heard someone say it, you’ve probably said it yourself,
"This stupid phone!” Meanwhile, the people around you are thinking, it’s not the phone, it’s the operator. Then things get worse when someone gets your phone and fixes the problem, and you stand there humbled…or maybe humiliated.
Likewise in relationships, it’s not the relationship creating the problem, it’s the
operators (note: plural means both or all, not just one). It can't always be they who are at fault, sometimes it's you.
Now, it’s no secret how much we all dislike feelings of not being good enough, which are easily triggered by the simplest errors, mistakes, failures and wrongs.
The good news is you can learn to better balance the battle of being wrong.
Remember, behavioral error is a daily occurrence for everyone;
So, when in error:
Own it
Say it
Learn from it
Move on from it
Share it
Prepare to repeat because there are more coming…I guarantee it!
3. We sometimes make problems worse by trying random remedies versus trusting proven
processes.
It may seem like a good idea to have a friend fix your phone, but you may want to rethink it before you cut that corner.
To prevent further damage, sometimes it’s better to get a professional involved sooner rather than later. This is especially true in relationships.
Relationships are one of our most precious and valuable resources. Whether your relationship situation requires a Coach, Mentor, Counselor or Therapist, a commitment to invest in its success is indeed a wise investment.
4. Carelessness can be costly.
How we handle and care for our cell phones will greatly impact its condition over time. Some of us can keep a phone for years and sell it in excellent condition. Others will have gone through multiple screen protectors, had the screen replaced two or three times and dropped it in water once or twice, and somehow wonder why it’s not working properly. You get the point.
Relationships must be handled with respect. They must be protected, approached with care, held and navigated with firmness and intentionality. If you handle them properly, they will likely last.
5. You can’t always get what you want when you want it.
Technology is a complex state of affairs. There are many factors, circumstances and variables outside of the cell phone itself that will impact performance. There are times when it’s not working, nobody’s fault, and it simply is what it is, and you have to learn to deal with it.
And so it is with Relationships…a complex state of affairs.
Remember, all behavior speaks, no matter the circumstance, and character is not forged in smooth waters, but rough seas.
How we act, or more appropriately how we react when things don’t go our way says a lot about who we are. Think about it, you don’t always deliver what everyone wants when they want it, so it’s not wise to expect that from others.
6. Newer is not always better, especially over the long haul.
Going with the newest for the sake of new and for the sake of owning the latest version might not be your best practice. Companies keep developing new every year to create a dissatisfaction in you with your old. The older you phone gets, the more you may desire a newer one, but always reaching for new doesn’t benefit you and much as it benefits them.
Like cell phones, relationships get older, become worn and challenging. Sometime there is a necessary and appropriate time for a shift or a replacement. Praying for wisdom can help us know when it's that time, and It can help us avoid unwise premature decisions.
May our relationship decisions be guided by a heart that values them rather than eyes and egos that will never be satisfied.
Your desires must always remain subservient to your responsibilities.
stacywardcoching.com
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