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There are times in life when ordinary suits you just fine. You’re not looking to be wowed by most situations most of the time, but when it comes to being loved, Ordinary just won’t cut it. The fact is, most people look for and long for the kind of love that continues to go above and beyond. A love that is incredibly patient, forgiving, and not demanding, a love that looks beyond faults and always finds the good no matter what, a love that ALWAYS protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres (1Cor 13:4-8). There is nothing common about this kind of love, it's the kind that outlasts circumstances. It is Extraordinary!

What is ordinary?

Ordinary things tend to have no special or distinctive traits or features. They are fairly commonplace, standard and quite uninteresting. Ordinary is synonymous with normal, typical, usual, and the expected.

Extraordinary things, on the other hand, are those that are quite unusual and remarkable. They are thought of as exceptional, memorable, unforgettable, and amazingly wonderful.

Let’s focus this topic towards married couples who may be wondering what robbed your marriage relationship of it’s joy, excitement, passion and spontaneity. To answer this, allow me to recycle an old thought with perhaps a slightly different spin/perspective.

The answer to the question is “Nothing”. Nothing robbed your marriage relationship of it’s joy, excitement, passion and spontaneity. In fact, you have not been robbed at all, but here is what has likely happened in the relationship.

The Extra that was once present and very noticeable in the Extraordinary(new) season of your relationship has naturally dissipated, leaving you with just an Ordinary relationship. In most cases this is the natural progression.

An example to illustrate this point is that “NEW CAR SMELL”, something most of you can appreciate if you have ever owned a new car. The new car smell is amazing, but it is also temporary. It is estimated that within about 6 months that smell you have grown to love will be no more…gone! Here’s the thing, the smell comes with the newness, and unfortunately, when the newness goes, so does the smell.

Now, here’s the good news, if you still desire the new car smell after it has departed, you can get it back, but you gotta go get it. You must reNEW the smell yourself. The first new car smell comes with the car, but a continued new car smell only comes with EFFORT from you. You must do the work of finding a new car air freshener, make the investment, put it in your car, and repeat the reNEWing process every time it fades. Your relationship is no different.

The initial ExtraOrdinary feelings come with the new relationship automatically, but they eventually fade. If you want to recapture/renew the Extra, you must do the work. Find the best ways to renew the EXTRA, make the extra effort and investment, and keep repeating (reNEWing the Extra) every time it fades.

Here are some creative options to consider:

There are 52 weeks in a year. What if you set aside four of those weeks to surprise your spouse with the unthinkable. What’s on their Wishlist? Find out and make it happen. What are the changes they would like to see in you? Find out and make it happen.

Occasionally A.I.M. for them.

A.I.M. is an acronym for An Important Message. Occasionally craft and communicate a meaningful message that speaks of your love and continued commitment. Let it be from your heart, not your head. Make it a very significant message that is somewhat out of character for you (in a good way)! Not too often! Space them out and make them count.

Write 50-100 descriptive words that describe your spouse. Put them in a container and let them pick one each day leading up to valentine’s day or some other significant day.

Text short meaningful messages throughout the day.

Send them a youtube link to a song that expresses your heart towards them.

Think of something creative yourself that is unique!

Make changes in your routine that directly benefit them!

Say good things you don’t usually say!

Break a bad habit or two, or three!

Ok, that’s enough to prime the pump and get you started.

Wait! Here’s one more idea. Go purchase a “New Car Smell” air freshener for your car and let it remind you of the power that you possess to change the atmosphere of your relationships.

Don’t trade your relationship for a new one, re:NEW the one you have!

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