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What does Predictability and Spontaneity look like in your marriage relationship?

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching a few weeks ago, I asked myself the annual question, “What am I doing this year for us to celebrate and enjoy Valentine's Day together?” Notice that I did not say, “What am I doing for my wife to celebrate and enjoy Valentines, but what am I doing for US?” As I pondered the question, there were two words that surfaced, PREDICTABILITY and SPONTANEITY. Now, these two words were certainly not the answer to my question, but they were both critical to my thought process, which would influence my decision. The one thing I was certain of, other than the need to make a decision fairly quickly, was my desire to also write on this topic, hoping maybe to Stir Your Thinking, for the better.

Let’s consider a few words and their general meanings.

Romantic; a feeling of excitement and mystery, in verb form it means to woo or court a lover

Predictability; predictable things are those that we know the when, what and how before they ever happen. Predictable behavior is expected, foreseeable, probable, and fomulized.

Spontaneity; according to the Cambridge dictionary, spontaneous describes those things/behaviors that are done in a natural, often sudden way…without planning or being forced.

Will you approach Valentines Day with predictability or spontaneity or perhaps both? Now, before you rush to answer, let me suggest that SPONTANEITY is not always the slam-dunk automatic answer. Sometimes PREDICTABILITY wins over it’s exciting and adventurous counterpart. This is why it helps to be highly in tune with yourself, your spouse/fiance etc., and your season. Perhaps it’s wise to allow a love for self, love for your spouse and a love for the relationship to point you in the direction of wisdom. Oh, and a request for God’s guidance would actually be your best starting point!

If you are PREDICTABLE most of the time, it may be time for you to stir it up a little! If the person you are in a romantic relationship with normally does most of the planning, consider injecting your own creative flair into the mix!

If you are SPONTANEOUS most of the time, it may be time to pump the brakes and try some consistency, which might add a little more fire power to your spontaneity down the road.

If you are among those who have a real sense of balance(the Pros) between the the two, keep doing your thing and consider writing a book someday for the rest of us!

However you decide to approach Valentines, remember this, it’s a special day and a great opportunity to communicate a special "I LOVE YOU", and to make some major deposits into relationships. But don’t get too carried away, because conventional wisdom suggests that large deposits in bank accounts are often spent just as fast as they were deposited. It is the slow and steady approach to gain that builds lasting wealth. The same is true with relationships. Valentine's Day is one out of 365. There are 364 more additional days to invest predictability and spontaneity into your relationship, 364 more days to consider the things that are expected of you as well as the things that are unexpected! Capitalize on both.

Plant something today in your relationship that will grow, multiply and serve you well in the days to come. Start something good right now that is either expected or unexpected, and keep it moving throughout the year.

May the Actions & Activities from your LOVE for each other outweigh the Feelings, and may you be privileged enough to enjoy SEEING, HEARING and FEELING that you are LOVED.

Happy Valentines Day!

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