Have you ever wondered what makes us so prone to notice the faults in others and spend exorbitant amounts of our valuable time discussing, critiquing, analyzing, and suggesting solutions for things over which we have ZERO control. And not only that, in some cases we have elevated this behavior to a form of entertainment. Think of all the TV and Radio talk shows hosts who unapologetically make it their business to get into the business of others, (athletes, politicians, doctors, coaches etc.) so that they can discuss, critique, analyze and suggest solutions for things they can't control. The only difference between their actions and ours, they do it for money and self-gratification, and we do it for free and self-gratification. I'm compelled to cease from hiding behind WE and man-up to a personal confession of my contribution to this misguided behavior.
I am at times a willing participant in the above, and I enjoy the process because it feels good, that is, until I realize the damage I'm creating within myself, and consequently within others! So, I have asked myself, “What makes me do this time and time again?”
The truthful answer is this;
I do it intentionally, yet subconsciously as a distraction, or a deflection. I am aware that the list of faults in my own life is quite long, longer than I'm willing to admit. I also know that some of the key changes I have opportunity and responsibility to make are extremely uncomfortable, and I would rather ignore them. So, to distract myself from the disappointment of neglecting to improve my own behavior, I indulge myself in focusing on someone else’s behavioral neglect. While indulging, the disappointment in myself dissipates and I feel good, because I credit myself with accurately pinpointing someone else’s problems and providing good solutions. Wow! Perhaps this is a twisted attempt at being a good Samaritan. Another scenario happens after I have been successful in making significant change in my life and become overzealous concerning my changes. I use my success as a license to meddle in the business of other people. Either way, it's all twisted, ineffective, unbecoming and it simply does not last. Sooner or later, I must face me and my own list.
A commitment to focus on improving SELF and resisting the distraction of critiquing others requires an elevated level of Self-Control (restraint over your emotions, desires, and impulses).
Isn’t it interesting that the most difficult thing on the planet to control is SELF.
The wisdom of Proverbs 16:32 reminds us that the person who is slow to anger (control) is stronger than the mighty, and the individual who rules over his or her spirit (control) is stronger than the one who captures an entire city!
The ability to face yourself and all your imperfections without overreacting is the power of Self-Control.
The willingness to admit and confess your faults to someone is the power of Self-Control.
A commitment to show compassion towards yourself and the faults of others is the power of Self-Control.
Exercising authority over SELF first and foremost, is the power of Self-Control.
Improving and learning to love SELF will silence most of our internal struggle and will increase influence over others, and it is all the result of Self-Control
HOW CAN I INCREASE MY SELF-CONTROL?
1. Be aware of what you control and what
you don’t.
2. Be honest with yourself about where
you are with Self-Control. Take an
assessment.
3. Get some help. Hire a coach. Ask a
friend or family member.
4. Practice, Practice, Practice!
Life gets better as we all get better at Self-Control!
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